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I think this was in reference to Mary Maxwell Gates, who ended up bringing (if not directly) the then nascent Micro-soft to IBM's attention.

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Exactly. Also having that family meant he could take risks that others couldn't simply because he knew the family would bail him out (personally, not the company) if things didn't work out.

About his family, at least according to Phil Greenspun

http://philip.greenspun.com/bg/

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