>> "Are there any examples of new, dense construction in North America that aren't ugly or dispiriting to live in?"

There are a couple of new tall buildings in lower Manhattan that aren't totally hideous, e.g. 8 Spruce (Gehry usually makes me feel ill, but in this one case it sort of works). And it's not particularly dispiriting inside.

And a tiny fraction of the new stuff going up in Williamsburg and parts of Queens is not entirely awful.