You have a choice to use their services, don't use Facbeook, don't use Google.
They do not have a choice to hand over data.
Other people having my number on their phone means Google collects that data, too.
Same with Facebook.
I have no choice to opt out, so unless they provide me such a choice, they have to be regulated by law.
On your last point, you want the same people who demand and coerce data from Google and Apple, also be the same people who make the rules for Google and Apple?