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> it is perfectly possible to be honest with someone without coming across as hostile

Yes, it is possible: objectively. However, there exist people with whom you cannot be honest whatsoever without coming across as hostile to them. (Maybe via heaps of sugar-coated language, interspersed with all sorts of reassuring hedges.)

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I totally get what you mean but that isn't really the issue here. While over-sensitivity is often an honest worry plenty of people have to needlessly worry about when trying to criticize if it isn't sparkled with numerous reassurances, the problem with the examples I've seen are to paraphrase, objectively hostile.

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