You missed the point. I'll isolate each component for you:
"[A] database was being publicly shamed for producing a ... unit file ... [that used] a shell script [to start] the database[.]"
"[The database devs mentioned] that it was the only way for them to avoid tying their database to the systemd signaling lib."
"[O]ne of the systemd devs [mentioned] they could just use a socket that systemd provides."
"[But this] ... 'option' ... was presented [at the bottom of the man page for the systemd signalling lib that the database authors were trying to not use] as a note on the internal workings of systemd."
"[You] will find warning after warning about not using systemd internals, as the devs reserve the right to change the behavior of those internals at any time."
So, this "option" -as documented- is something that you cannot rely on, as it is subject to change at any time, without warning.
> With respect to socket activation, a pretty useful tutorial...
Tutorials are no substitute for documentation. Documentation describes the contracts that the software commits to. Tutorials can exploit edge cases and undocumented behaviors without warning. Moreover, if the docs say that the tutorial is demonstrating a feature that's subject to change at any time, you'd have to be a madman to rely on it.
> The DBus API can be found here...
If the database devs don't want to depend on the systemd signalling lib, I bet they really don't want to depend on DBus. This might come as a surprise to some, but many servers don't run a DBus daemon.