It's not just about being harsh. Sometimes you need to be harsh (at least internally). Reflecting, and understanding the reality of the situation is one step. The next is deciding what the team needs to hear. What's the best action to move them forward?

Curious, have you read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie? It seems like it would be a fantastic refresher for you. Every time I read that book, I feel reinvigorated and ready to connect with people around me.