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Comment by analognoise | Hacker News Reader

“I feel badly for my mother who has to do all of the housework and wash all of my clothes at her age because I can’t find a wife,” he says.

...you're a grown ass man making your elderly mom do all the housework and laundry? I wonder why nobody's going after this jewel of a man!?

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In Asia, it is customary that women take care of all the household tasks. Many women actually feel insulted (not sure if that's the right word, maybe more upset?) if a man starts to do one of those chores. This is more common in even the younger women there than you think.

Also, the way dating works is much different than the current western standards. Think more US circa 1930. Therefore, his not doing the chores may not be such a huge part of why he can't find someone.

Not making a judgment on whether its good or bad, but that's how it is.

You get to be seen to have got issues if you're doing housework in Asia. Probably from a broken family.

Living in Cambodia for a few years now, and I can definitely say that this is true. I always make the comparison of how in Western society, it is custom that a man carries the bags / does the heavy lifting; he doesn't feel bad about it, and it would upset him if he saw his wife / girlfriend / etc do heavy lifting instead of him, even when she's perfectly capable of doing so.

That's a good comparison. My wife is from Asia Minor, and despite being a modern career woman in other respects, gets very weirded out if I cook for myself. Cooking for both of us is fine, oddly enough, but she'll insist on doing it if it's just for me.

Everybody has their hang ups.

I tried to ask my mom to let me do the housework myself several times. It always ended up in arguments. She thought I wanted to kick her out by making her less significant.

That's a sad inditement on his attitude. It sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would hope most women would not tolerate such an attitude, nor would most men seek it.

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