Read the following Scott Adams blog quotes:

"I can't get past the fact that it's sitting there wasting energy while its only function is to confuse me up to three dozen times per day."

"Lately I have been wondering whether online reviews should remain legal."

"I can't help seeing world affairs as essentially a bunch of middle managers sitting around a rectangular table coming up with clever ways to convince the masses that turds are diamonds."

"Humans are obsessed with their weight. I think a big part of that obsession is the simple fact that weight is easy to measure."

"What the world needs is software that makes it easy for senior citizens to use e-mail."

Now imagine them being read by an angry Andy Rooney.

I'm just putting that out there.