Hacker News Reader

Comment by vlehto | Hacker News Reader

>these men are suffering on a much deeper level than society gives them credit for

As a man I don't want society to give me credit for suffering. I also don't want pity or empathy. Help? Maybe, but only if you let me pay it back.

What I want is to be allowed to solve my own problems. And then a chance to contribute to society. All this while not denouncing my manhood. I'm pretty sure most men feel the same deep down.

View on HN

>I'm pretty sure most men feel the same deep down.

No, actually. If I wear my body down so much that I'm dying of work-inflicted wear-and-tear, I damn well do want society's empathy and help. "Manhood" and "self-glorifying martyrdom" are not synonyms.

One's ordinary contribution to society shouldn't be cast-from-hitpoints, especially not when it will get you an unremembered early grave. This is the year 2015, not D-Day.

But human genetics mostly unchanged from the days we hunted mammoths.

I'm not advocating sacrifice. I just think most guys need the feeling of contributing to stay sane.

Not actually true! Human adaptation has accelerated in the last 50,000 years, recording more changes than in the previous million. Adapting to crowded cities, monotonous diets, close socialization, rote work has marked our genetics in profound ways.

You would love this novel. http://www.amazon.com/Independent-People-Halldor-Laxness/dp/...

Independent People is one of those rare books that manage to make bad choices relatable to the reader.

I guess I don't get what's so great about "manhood". Seems to be more trouble than it's worth.

Maybe the help is owed to you, not the other way around.

It doesn't matter. If my identity is not about owing.

Owing is one of the bases of all relationships. You are free to say that you do not wish to be owed anything, but that does not actually free society from its obligations to you, nor you from your obligations to it.

Just sayin'.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com