In Malcolm X's biography he tells stories of growing up in Harlem. A lot of prostitutes worked in his area of town and he befriended many. The prostitutes would tell him that most of their clients are middle-age, well-off men - many with highly prestigious jobs. They mention that many of their clients visited them because their wives were not very pleasant and would withhold sexual contact from them. For many clients, they didn't think the sex was the main reason for visiting. Many of the men just wanted to talk with a woman that wouldn't result in an argument.

I remember reading one prostitute telling him directly that if wives had sex with their husbands regularly, they would be out of a job.

They're wasting their money. My therapist is cute, has a PhD, and only charges $130 an hour.

I saw the special and I honestly think that's a myth, at least most of the time. It just seems like a rationalization, the guys can tell themselves they can't find a suitable mate and have to pay these women, the women can say and think they're paid for more than just sex, everyone wins, it's not just high dollar prostitution. The other thing that the kind of guys who pay for super-high-priced call girls want is silence, silence regardless of who asks and silence when a tabloid offers $10k for the story. To me that's much more logical than a rich, educated guy not being able to find an educated female to converse with.

It might be true to some degree but the reason you pay a hooker isn't for the sex, it's for the discretion. Think about it for a second, if she's hot and educated and can be with him in public, why doesn't he just marry her? He's rich, she wants money, it's almost perfect. Why do they maintain the prostitute and john relationship?

This is where posting anonymously is beneficial. I have used the services of a higher end escort before. It was completely legal, and despite my hesitations it was a pleasant experience. I had a couple of rules:

1. She couldn't have been forced into it (e.g., brought into the country by some organized criminals)

2. I had to trust as best as possible that she'd be discreet

3. She had to have the capacity to do other things with her life. In other words, she wasn't doing this to survive and pay rent.

I ended up doing some research and finding an independent escort. She'd put together her own website. She arranged her own services and she preferred to organize everything by email, but required a phone call from a residential or cell account in order to confirm everything. The independent escorts here have their own database to help protect them from predators (e.g., one was recently stabbed in the neck by a customer). So they do collect this information. As I mentioned, this stuff is not illegal up here in Canada, so the cops don't care about seizing that database.

It turns out that up here, it's a lot cheaper to find a higher end escort than it is in the U.S.. I imagine the fact that it's legal means there's a bigger market. But down south, you're kind of paying for the "I'm risking going to prison" fee.

My escort is college-educated, models, occasionally does porn, and is well travelled. I'm generally a curious guy, so we did chat for a bit. Funny enough, I wanted to know what tools she used to build her website. As I was doing my research, I noticed that there appeared to be a standard toolset for these independent escorts. So she told me a bit about the tools, what she liked about them, etc.. In turn, she wanted to know how I found her, what keywords I searched for in Google to find her, etc.. I asked about the stereotype of guys just wanting to talk and she said for the most part it is not true. What is true she said is that a lot of her encounters are very short. The guys turn out to be so nervous that it's over quickly, and they're too embarrassed to wait with her so they leave. Most of her clientele are responsible guys according to her. She wouldn't get any more specific than that, which was nice (e.g., she's discreet).

In any event, the initial experience changed the way I look at a lot of things. She was very safe about the act. Condoms were mandatory no matter who her customer was. She regularly gets tested for sexually transmitted infections. First thing she did was offer up a shower. After, trying to be as sensual about it as possible, she "examined me" for signs of STIs before anything happened. Then she used a disinfectant wipe to clean the groin area for good measure. Most regular women I know are not nearly as thorough and now I really don't trust a lot of them. I'm not much into casual sex, but let's just say we shouldn't snub our noses at high-end escorts carrying STIs. I think a lot of "average" folk are truly irresponsible about their sexual health now and I'd be way more worried going to bed with a girl I'd met on an online dating site or a bar than I would my particular escort.

She has a blog, uses Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace. She's also a bit of a musician. She's pretty much the kind of woman that you'd want to love. The one that chose that other path in life and is happy with it. Not the soccer mom. I suppose it's this fantasy that she's both selling and fostering. One thing that made me respect her was I didn't feel one iota of judgment on her part. She seemed very at ease with what she was doing, and dare I say she felt she should try to do a good job at it.

Here's why they get paid so much:

-As adatta02 said, they leave after. No crazies.

-You (generally) don't have to worry about them going to TMZ and blabbering about you.

-If you've selected correctly, they're exactly what you want.

-They fulfill a need precisely when demand is the highest. In other words, when you just want to get laid, they're a phone call away. For those of us not in relationships, and for some of us that are, that's worth a few hundred bucks.

-Mine was very good in bed. I knew up front what she was willing to do or not. But she was very good at what she did do.

Can I have relationships with women of similar calibre to the escort? Yes and I have. But I've noticed more and more that at this point in trying to run my business, most women just don't understand. I can't give them the kinds of reassurances they need in a relationship. Rather than put my heart through that grinder, I've decided to fulfill some basic desires when they get the best of me in a way that is as most ethical as possible. I could do the same thing by meeting women on dating sites and leading them on, but I've decided not to. I'm not sure I trust the ones on dating sites that are into casual sex enough.