My suggestion to all engineers is to use the leverage you have and insist that vested ISOs convert to NSOs if you leave a company. If they don't want to do this, well, there's a reason, and it's not good for you. At minimum, they intend to crank those golden handcuffs tight, and if you have life changing events in the 5-10 years it takes a company to go public (want a house, partner wants to live somewhere else, kids, etc)... tough luck. If you continue even without a conversion clause, apply a massive discount (on top of the massive discount you should already be applying) to the "value" of those options.
As for your anti-tax rant... if you want nice things (roads, schools, universities, clean air, judges, police, hospitals, child protective services, efficient postal mail, etc), someone has to pay for them. Charity is no substitute for our collective choice to pay for things.