But, more realistically, it helps kids stay out of trouble, because they know there's an increased probability that they will get caught.If my father knew I'd stolen his car to go see a girlfriend at 1 AM on a school day, he would have completely flipped out.
He'd have stopped me. And in doing so, would have deprived me of one of the best nights of my life.
I won't question your parenting methods. No one should, unless they have children.
But what you've described sounds like a meager existence. I hope your children can escape their taskmaster.
More likely, they'll grow up shaped into whatever form you decided suits them. Hopefully you're a tasteful architect.
Just know that this kind of thing can have long-term trauma effects. I wish I could paste the conversation from a physicist friend. I asked her how she's been, and she said completely miserable. "What?" "Well... Don't worry, I'm less miserable now than I was before."
This was alarming. She's nearing the end of grad school, and by all accounts is a successful physicist at the start of her career. She's worked very hard for four years to get there. Miserable? Isn't this what she's worked so hard to attain?
Turns out, she's never wanted to be a physicist. Her father coerced her into thinking she wanted to be. And now he's still pushing her to go into academia by pressuring her to get a PhD. She says that getting a real job is all she's dreamed about for years.
She's one of the smartest people I know. She's a brilliant mathematician, far better than I could ever hope to be. How could someone so smart end up with such a miserable life?
Because her parents decided that would be best, of course. I'm sure they meant well.
As you chip away with hammer and chisel, try to use a light touch. Therapists can't always reverse the damage.