Or that new hires are going to think bit counting and XOR are ninja CS voodoo, while everyone already knows how to Elasticsearch?
How about cost? What's the monthly all-in cost for each approach?
This is a nice satire. It points out why modern software can be faddy, inefficient, fragile, hard to maintain, and expensive to run, with no obvious benefits (including "easy to understand", which seems to be code for "I already know how to use all those dependencies and APIs, so let's assume new hires will too.")