I think your objection is less to codes of conduct as such than to their usual contents and the kind of environment they intend to create. You can have a very different code of conduct, e.g., one that goes something like this:

1. Don't be rude.

2. Don't be stupid.

3. Check your identity politics at the door.

4. Listen to the moderators.

5. Do not complain about rules 1-5.