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> The last time I looked at Haskell, it needed ~700MB of dependencies before I could even get started.

ghc is big, indeed. There are smaller alternate compilers and interpreters (that no one uses). Compiled executables are usually smaller than ghc, which is probably the biggest Haskell programs ever written.

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I suspect the 700MB dependency is Haskell Platform. Which you don't need and is not considered a good way to install Haskell. Just GHC and Cabal (package manager, sort of ) are nowhere near there. Or even better, use Stack. See how large the binaries are.

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