The Maddest Hacker – How to Rob an Industry Venture Capitalist [song]

Lyrics are now up on Genius

http://genius.com/The-maddest-hacker-how-to-rob-an-industry-...

[Intro: The Maddest Hacker]

This song is dedicated to Aaron Swartz

A visionary ahead of his time who died

Because of this fucked up industry

(hacker news. i’m posting this to hacker news)

[Verse 1: The Maddest Hacker]

And yo the bottom line is, i'm a hacker with no deal

If you don’t sign those papers, i’ll rob and steal

You better recognize VCs, i got the drive to succeed

As you sit back and watch your portfolio bleed

Rob Jessica, Paul you want to see her again?

Get your ass down to the nearest A-T-M

I had dreams of applying to YCombinator

But I told Alexis to fuck off ( I'm a hater )

When I apply open-source, son it ain't even funny

I'm about to stick Tim Draper for some of that Bitcoin money

Coinbase? i could take your servers everytime

Have you sweating, asking Mark Karpelès, can I borrow a dime?

Since these Ycomb people seem to all be fam

I'll put my gun to Sam Altman tell him, "Tell your man"

Buttercoin haha, well at least you scammed them, I mean damn

The only excuse for being broke is having no funds

Ya can't run, a company with none

Hack Ripple, but that'd be a waste of time

Centralized currency, its always theirs, not mine

I'd follow Marc Andreessen for four blocks with no reason

Plotting to get Netscape money, yo son stop teasing

What, Oculus sold to Facebook, got 2 billion in bank

You don't want me to knock on your door with metasploit, thanks!

I'll manhandle Zuckerberg like "dope, get on the ground!”

You can't steal from the twins no more, where you gonna get your ideas from now?

I been scheming on Facebook and Google since they found me G

HR don’t pull that recruit ( bullshit ) on me

I'm a cracker ( nah not for real son I'm sick )

I'm about to drop a memory stick in the parking lot they’ll pick it up quick

Right now I'm venting and when I get like this I don't think

I’ll beat Peter Thiel in chess, and make his island sink

Rob Reid Hoff without a gun, grab his laptop and run

Dude weighs 400 pounds, how he gonna catch me son?

[Hook: The Maddest Hacker] x2

This ain't serious

Being broke will make you delirious

So we hack and crack to get something to eat

Marak? how it feel to rob an industry vc?

[Verse 2: The Maddest Hacker]

I'll catch Ashton Kutcher and Sean Parker up in the club

Maybe they’ll give me money, if I give them some drugs

I’ll run up on Elon Musk with a remote and be like guess whats next?

You give me the cash or I'll crash a space-x

I figured it out, people been hacking Bill Gates before

That's why he don't wanna be an investor no more

My attitude was Steve Ballmer, you could be my new creditor

But all he would say was DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

H. D. Moore wanna get down? well you tell homie

But I'm on that solo-founder, I do my sploits all by my lonely

I should hack into Uber, man, their shit did well

I wanted to hack Sam Lessin, but his shit ain't sell

I hit Sand Hill, take VCs' ( laptops ) and leave

Catch Dave McClure, break his glasses so he can't read

Tell Naval give me the Angel list money before I crash your site

Get every syndicate to invest ( allright )

Howard Cox, at Greylock, I would not touch any day

I’d get water-boarded by the CIA

I'm a keep sticking VCs until I'm picked up

Or i'ma hack their systems like i'm ‘Marty' Bishop

Ron Conway give 600k to me

I got more influence in the city than Edwin M. Lee

I caught Larry Page riding on his private plane

I told him I wanted it all ( My Markov chain! )

Did you ever think that you would be this rich?

Did you ever think that your portfolio would have these blips?

Did you ever think that I'd hack your line?

And download your shit just like it's mine?

I'ma keep ( redacted ) VCs, its my new hob

Rob Xerox like I’m the new Steve Jobs

Fundersclub? I got a crowd sourced mob

Yo I'm hungry for real, I'm about to hack Mark cuban

That dude still eating with the Mavericks still losing

When i stick First Round, I’ll make them look so silly yo

Like the people dancing in their stupid videos

Is you feeling me? Well then bump through your speakers!

As I stomp on VCs wearing Phin Barnes sneakers