That's the problem. Resumes shouldn't matter. The capability to solve programs through an understanding of software-- which is often acquired without going through a resume-building path-- is what matters.
You can totally list projects you've worked on, or some other stuff which isn't "MS in Comp Sci at Stanford"
I feel kind of the same way about resumes for hiring as you, but they're pretty good entry filters: if you can't be bothered to write 300 words (or, you know, reuse one with a slightly different intro), why should the company bother talking to you?
I think this is all part of the "avoiding false positives" mindset that comes with recruiting. Since recruiting people is really expensive!
On the other hand, corporations are definitely all about risk-reduction.