Ask HN: Advices, Literrature, hacks for prepping to be a parent
My wife and I are expecting a child in a few months from now. I'd love to hear thoughts, book recommendations, links, hacks, advices or what have you on the topic from the HN community.
0. The best thing you can say to your child is "I love you and I'm very proud of you." The second best thing is "Did you have fun?" The third best thing is "Where do you want to eat?"
1. "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy" applies to parenting [and I'm not implying children are enemies, even surly teenagers].
2. Your child is a person with their own independent life. Living vicariously through your child will happen. Learn how to recognize it and stop. Don't use "we" when referring to the events relating to your child's football team.
3. There is no hacking children. Each is an individual person not a mechanical system. Each grows at their own pace. Or rather paces, because their are many dimensions to growth and maturity both as an organism and as a person. Children tend to turn out ok despite our plans or our lack thereof.
4. Don't get caught up in comparing your child to other children. Don't get caught up in their getting ahead. There isn't a race. There isn't a prize for the first kid to reach first grade. Even if their were, nobody would inscribe it on a tombstone.
5. Get to know your child as a person because your child is an amazing person.
6. Everybody is still a child. Enjoy the excuse to act like one and just spend time playing. No matter how old your child gets or how mature, remember they're still a child. It's wonderful.
7. Practical advice given to me by Julie when my beloved was pregnant: For the next year, baby and mama are first and you are third. Unless you have a dog, then you are fourth.
Congratulations and good luck.