Hacker News Reader

Comment by some_hero-_- | Hacker News Reader

I was a semi introvert and extrovert guy but after working for one startup for more than 3 years in isolated environment makes me feel like i am fully introvert. There is no one with whom i can express my feelings openly. I don't have friends to hangout, and the most depressing thing is the people of my age have all this thing. What's more awkward is I can't even able to approach people, seems like i forgotten how to interact.

The other reason might be, i was afraid to not look like looser. Most of the people consider me quite successful and showing such weakness in front of society is not acceptable.

I have lot of ideas in my mind but i don't have energy to execute. My bank balance is good but it doesn't bring happiness. I don't have time on my hand. Sometimes i feel like i do sucide but i am strong men.

I don't recommend anyone to start a startup unless he socially fit and not under his early 20s.

View on HN

Isolation is so painful; it's literally traumatic for people. You are not at all the only one; in fact, what you are experiencing is a perfectly normal reaction. Humans are fundamentally social beings; without other people to socialize with, our cognitive and emotional systems don't function properly. For example, for children, I believe it's well established that even abuse by parents is better for them than abandonment. A much more extreme example is people in solitary confinement, who experience serious mental and emotional problems due to their almost complete lack of human contact (beyond anything even isolated people experience out in society).

Your social skills and energy will return naturally when you feel better. Consider finding a good therapist who you feel comfortable with. Not only will you have someone to talk to, but they can help you understand and manage your problems and help you develop the skills to do the things you want to do.

I would love to read on HN someday that it worked out well for you. Take care.

I can empathise with this - I was edging on being an extravert until I took about a year of remote work. I think social skills come from practice and exposure, so when you stop interacting with people for great lengths of time, your skills weaken and you want isolation out of fear of showing your ineptitude. It's a vicious cycle; the only solution I have found is putting yourself in a social environment by force (i.e. workplaces, clubs etc).

Sorry to hear this. I chose to work at a big company because I knew that this would let me work 40 hours a week and so I'd have a chance to socialize outside work hours.

Please bear in mind that this is always an option for you too. I actually had a startup before I got my current job, but decided to get a job at a big tech company instead.

I'm sorry you're in this situation

Reply on news.ycombinator.com