I've written a Raleigh theme more than 12 years ago, and that one still works as it did back then.
I believe you when you say not all parts of Gtk2 were stable and some stuff was surely evolving, but the overall I've seen no regression in Gtk2 as I did in Gtk3.
That said, if Gtk3 has only been considered stable since 3.20, then more appropriate versioning/communication might have been useful, but I doubt that's what you're saying.
Also, I know I have too little domain knowledge to judge what it takes to support HiDPI and Wayland, but what I do object is focusing on too many things for a major release. What works better are time based releases where, if one feature branch misses the release, it'll arrive in a later version. Full rewrite efforts seldom work out.
You said Raleigh should work in 3.20, I just tried to use it as the 3.20 theme again and it's still borked compared to 3.18, but it's unsurprising if it's not the default and probably untested.
But what's more important is that Gtk2's Raleigh looks really nice, whereas 3.20's Raleigh looks like it's deliberately made to look worse, which is hard to understand, given that the drawing code is supposed to be 99% unchanged, if I look at Gtk2 to Gtk3 porting guides.