Imagine if someone said "I have a question for the black Chief Legal Officer" or "I have a question for the overweight professor" (ok, the latter hits too close to home -- darn free food at google). A superfluous specifier emphasizes the thing that's being specified.
'Ms.' would have been a valid choice, which the person correcting him used to little controversy. I think the problem was not using a gender specific pronoun and rather the way it was used. For example, directing somebody to a stranger and refering to them as 'the lady over there', is totally different than saying 'the lady CFO' as if it qualifies her title. Addressing her as 'Ms. CFO' would be appropriate, as is 'Mr./M(r)s. President' for example.
"The CFO" is using her title, as would be used as the object of a sentence ("I have a question for the CFO").
You wouldn't say "I have a question for Mr. President" - you'd say "I have a question for the President."
"Lady CFO" would be an archaic, first-person form of address. "Lady CFO, prithee explain to me what Alphabet did to mitigate the effects of foreign currency exchange rate fluctuations."
"The Lady CFO" is expanding the proper title by adding an extra term that's not necessary or typical. You can't combine the "the" and "lady" into a title without it making the title itself be weirdly gendered.
(I don't have anything intelligent to say about the second part of your comment - I'm curious to know how others view it.)
The trigger event is just the stone in the stone soup, the macguffin, the tiny impurity that the crystal nucleates on. The specifics of the event have no relevance.