To me, there are two separate concerns: intent preservation and coherence.
Operations cause a change of state. The sequence of operations that are performed given a user action need to ensure that they will cause a modification of the state of the database in the way intended by the user.
Coherence is about maintaining a design. A set of rules are conceived. For each state, it is possible to determine whether the state is valid according to them, and if so, the database is coherent.
To maintain coherence, it is possible to deny an operation, therefore breaking user intent. To maintain user intent, it is possible to accept an operation that leads to an invalid state. From what I understand, noms is heavily tilted towards coherence, like git, but unlike git, it doesn't have the social "pull request" aspect, nor a support for running tests.
You mention diffing as a plus, but realistically the only use of diffing is to guess intent. Real intent can only be provided by a maximally rich set of operations. Logs of SQL queries, for instance, are more likely to provide insight than a cold diff. For a database that is tilted so far towards maintaining coherence at the expense of user intent, it may be a good idea to compensate by staying close to the operations.
Finally, if you decide to tilt towards intent preservation, there are definitely approaches to automate merges, avoiding nagging the user to fix conflicts. The most successful trivial solution remains latest-write-wins, which gives surprisingly good results assuming a high data granularity and a rich set of operations. But unless there is a way to automate coherence validation (which the equivalent in git projects is, I suppose, running the tests), we can only rely on user attention… in which case, relying on the user to fix coherence after the fact on a database that heavily preserves user intent would be pretty much the same.
So… do you plan on supporting custom coherence rules? Alternatively, which conflict resolutions are you leaning towards?