Hacker News Reader

Comment by M_Grey | Hacker News Reader

It's the complete opposite of what seems to be the increasingly reigning trend online at least, and all too often offline. That is to say this is good advice, but a really shocking number of people seem to unaware that the least effective teacher is the one who informs you that you're a pointless moron before trying to correct you. I'm constantly amazed at people who think their genius is so valuable that anyone would put up with their rancid personality.

It can get even worse when there is no genius in play, just power or money and a good social/professional bubble.

View on HN

> I'm constantly amazed at people who think their genius is so valuable that anyone would put up with their rancid personality.

Devils advocate here; Isn't this an example of displaying a superior attitude and the sort of the thing you're claiming to be against?

Only if you think that I believe I'm dropping pearls of wisdom here, rather than just sharing an opinion, and doing so in a "rancid" way. Do you think that?

>I'm constantly amazed at people who think their genius is so valuable that anyone would put up with their rancid personality.

My opinion has been that if you really value truth, leave your ego at the door. Emotional intelligence is key to discovering things you don't know, from sources that may be less than friendly.

I am not advocating being needlessly toxic. This goes for both parties. But people would do well to learn when to A) Not expect respect B) Know how deal with someone who is disrespectful, but is correct in the current subject matter being discussed.

I agree, but we're all just human, and most of the time it's not truth that comes with rudeness, it's just more rudeness and a lot of opinions. Worse, people seem to think that being rude is a way to broadcast your important or genius, when it really does nothing of the sort.

I'm also not talking about "expecting respect", I'm talking about people who cross basic lines of conduct. "I don't feel I'm being treated as well as I should," is not in this, and yes, people who expect that need to ground themselves in reality a bit.

I definitely see what you're saying. I guess all I can really say is it's such a gray area for me personally, given the people I've worked with. There are people who demand respect for absolutely no reason, and then there are generally arrogant, toxic people like you're describing. It's an emotional minefield!

Agreed. In a way, I see both of those people as sides of the same coin, but probably at different stages in their career. Does that make any sense?

The goal of online conversation is usually not to convince the purported target of the rhetoric.

That's why I joined this site actually, to get away from that. So far so very very good.

If somebody calls you a pointless moron, they are probably not trying to teach you anything.

I used to think that, but amazingly enough some people either learned that by example, and others think you need to "break down" someone's resistance first. I think arrogance is the common factor, to think that would accomplish anything positive in most cases. Then again, there are people who truly want to teach, but they're frustrated or have a generally poor temperament.

Sometimes, a mental jolt is necessary, rather than soft diplomacy. Zen masters understood such things.

Calling someone an asshole isn't the path to 'satori', and ego has no place in a zen koan.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com