Comment by munificent | Hacker News Reader

Comment by munificent | Hacker News Reader

> People said that when they were on their own mostly they were focused on how they were feeling, so on their body or their emotions

I've always been pretty introverted, and also a night person. I used to roll into work around 10:30 or so, after a long chill morning.

When I got married and had kids, that schedule wasn't feasible any more. For a couple of years, I would set my alarm as late as I could get by with and then rush rush rush in the mornings to get my daughter ready and at day care and myself ready for work. That way, I could still be as much of a night person as I used to be.

It was a disaster. I felt tense and unbalanced all day. Lots of fights with my wife. By the time the evening rolled around and the kid was in bed, I had a little free time, but I was too spent to do anything useful with it.

At some point, due to commute changes, I ended up getting up at 6:00 to avoid the worst of rush hour. That was even worse. There's nothing quite like getting up early to stare at brake lights ahead of you for 45 minutes every morning to make you lose the will to live.

When my commute fortunately got much better—a five minute drive—I decided to try keeping my 6am wake up time.

Holy crap, it was amazing.

I had a solid two hours before the wife or kids woke up. The house was silent and all mine. I could have a quiet cup of coffee, read a bit, work on projects.

What I figured out is that, while I like being around people, my personality or sense of self kind of deflates during it. I don't have enough courage or force of will to be me in the presence of other people. Their own circles of identity sort of press into mine, and I'm not confident enough to easily push back all day.

That solitary time in the morning is exactly what I need to reinflate my bubble. To sort of gather around myself a sense of who I am, and what it is about myself that I like and feel good about. When I have that time in the morning, I can go out into the day feeling a little more secure and insulated. Without it, I feel exposed.

It's so worth becoming a morning person to get that feeling.

(Alas, now my kids have to be at school earlier, so they are getting up shortly after me and I don't have much quiet time anymore. I'm tempted to try getting up even earlier, but getting up at five is really hard.)

I have similar feelings except my alone time is some times tinged with guilt. That I am not spending it with my daughter (though I do spend lot of time with her )

I feel that too, a lot. But I try to remember that what my kids need is a relaxed, rejuvenated Dad. An hour of me time and an hour of quality time with them is worth more to both of us than two hours of distracted tense time with Dad.

As a kid, I seem to recall never having enough alone time. So your daughter may appreciate that you're not hanging out with her every waking minute (but it depends on the particular kid of course).

I'm a night owl who always wished I could become a morning person to reap the benefits for side projects, etc.

My brain just doesn't seem to be wired that way and it revolts every time I try this, even for an extended period.

Any tips for making it less painful?

What worked for me was stopping eating anything starting from about 7 p.m. In the beginning I would wake up before 6 a.m. feeling hungry.

Than in a few weeks that hunger feeling disappeared, but I still could wake up earlier with no problems.

In addition to above the following trick was important to sleep much earlier than I used to.

The idea is to lay on the back with arms along the body as relaxed as possible. Then one rolls eyes and relax jaw to the point when mouse opens slightly. The reason behind this is that when one sleeps, eyes roll and mouse opens. So if one do that when awake, that gives brain a signal to sleep.

For me it works most of the time.

> I'm a night owl who always wished I could become a morning person to reap the benefits for side projects, etc.

If you're staying up late at night and getting work on projects done then, then switching that to the morning isn't going to make much of a difference. The total time is the same.

I wouldn't read too much into all of those gushing blog posts about people who get up at the ass crack of dawn to write the next Great American novel while also preparing a wholesome organic breakfast, running twenty miles, and volunteering at their local soup kitchen.

People are incentivized to present their idealized self and blogs are no different, and there's some strange vicarious joy we get from reading about people who are (theoretically) way more disciplined or productive than us.

In my experience, there's nothing magical about the early morning hours. I could, and have, also had lots of productive time late at night.

I switched to mornings because it worked for my particular schedule and the other constraints in my life. Find what works for you.

> Any tips for making it less painful?

The main tip I know for getting up early is: consistently go to bed early. What you choose to do the night before determines how your morning is going to go.

Personally, I'm not very disciplined. So if I was getting up early to do something I don't enjoy, like exercise or work on something difficult, it would be a non-starter.

So, instead, I tell myself that I can get up to have some coffee, surf reddit, watch some dumb videos. Whatever. Something totally easy and selfish.

That's enough to get me out of bed. Then, once I'm on my computer with coffee in hand, I eventually start doing something useful.

Same here!!! I wake up at 5-5:30 every morning, even on the weekends. It gives the right amount of Me Time and I am much more focused all day.

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