They used to make those. Not enough people bought them.

Get a Note 4 (or Note 3). I love mine. I replaced the battery with a 7,500 mAh unit, it's a $30 kit you can buy from Amazon.

I really wish they would. They are the ones that listened to people who were sick of how tiny the iphone and all of its clones were and went deep on a big phone. I still have a Note 3 and have little problem with it. I had no interest in the 7 because of the curved edges which I think is a stupid thing to do with phone screens. I will probably get a Pixel at some point and switch over to fi, but if Samsung does something interesting I will consider it.

Would you be willing to pay say 2x the price of the designs that people clearly prefer?

probably not going to change your mind, but i got a lumia 950XL which does both of that.

They already did that with the s7 and edge. It's a bit thicker than s6 and the battery is humongous.