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Comment by ryandrake | Hacker News Reader

Oh, another "Isn't it cool that people can quit their jobs to go do $EXPENSIVE_THING" humblebrag article! File this along with the "Exploring Africa in my custom jeep" and "Traveling the country in a solar powered van I built" pieces. Unfortunately, this option is not available to the 99.99% of readers who need to pay their mortgages, health insurance, child care expenses, student loan payments, and other realities of normal life.

If you're one of those lucky enough to be able to just jaunt off to a faraway land for a "career break" then congratulations! But these articles claiming it's something that you, the reader, can do, are pretty silly.

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Not being able to do this because you have kids, a mortgage or student loan repayments is down to choices you have made in life. Someone who doesn't have those commitments holding them back because they chose a different path shouldn't feel guilty.

Calling children 'life choices' (something that happens far too often here on HN) is... interesting, to say the least. That you believe that other people's 'life choices' (in this case, children) are 'holding them back' is also interesting.

I suggest you have some prejudices that you need to resolve.

I for one like to think my parents brought me into this world by choice and not by accident.

Wide access to contraception and education does make it a life choice in North America and Europe.

You may want kids, but this is neither a need nor an obligation. A desire, AKA a life choice.

Devils Advocate: The desire for kids is wired into us at a very low level. It's not quite a basic survival need but, but it's near that level psychologically.

How is it not a basic survival need? Most societies don't have social security, pension funds etc. So, kids are the only way to survive beyond the state of being young & healthy.

> How is it not a basic survival need? Most societies don't have social security, pension funds etc. So, kids are the only way to survive beyond the state of being young & healthy.

But this does not hold in the first world. So in the first world it is a (IMHO rather expensive) life choice.

> Devils Advocate: The desire for kids is wired into us at a very low level. It's not quite a basic survival need but, but it's near that level psychologically.

There are other things like solving problems by violence that are similarly wired. This does not mean that in the modern society this is acceptable. In the same way having children should be considered as an expensive life choice.

There are many ways to refer to children. I've noticed on HN children frequently get referred to as a 'life choice', and grouped with things such as student debt and mortgages.

The post I objected to then referred to people being 'held back' by such life choices. That's a judgement call right there by the poster, and it's a poor one. In my opinion, it's misanthropic.

Yes, having children is technically a life-choice in the West. However, I've noticed a disturbing pattern where people classify children with things when discussing them. The humanity of the child is de-emphasized and the classification as a thing is the focus.

It's one of the acceptable prejudices in Silicon Valley, and like ageism in the Valley, it's so normalized that many people don't even notice it.

ryandrake is the one who brought childcare expenses into the thread, suggesting that that was one factor that limited people's freedom. uhtred is the one who responded with the reference to "[holding] back". I'm not sure which of the two (or both) you're objecting to.

It is literally true. I have two kids (100% by choice and I'm thrilled with that choice). However, they absolutely hold me back from doing things that I might do if we were still DINKs or if I were single. Being married (another choice that makes me extremely happy) holds me back from doing some other things that I'd do if I were single. None of the statements in this paragraph should be construed as meaning that I dislike my wife or kids.

I don't see the misanthropism in making a factual statement that some people feel that they can't drop their job and travel the world for a year because they have kids (or a mortgage, or student loans, or any other reason that ryan listed).

Just for the hell of it I went over to my wife and proposed taking a sabbatical. She raised an eyebrow: "Are you high? Man up & do what needs to be done!"

Seriously though, until universal basic income is a thing, those of us who must work for a living will continue to work for a living. This is capitalism in action.

Can only talk about my wife and our situation. We both work, but all ways make sure that either partner can hold a full time job and pay all our commitments. This goes for car loan, mortgage, shopping. It takes the stress of either partner that they can just take 6 to 12 months off when things get really tough.

Even with UBI my guess is you'd get the same response due to the likely standard of living hit you'd take.

I can't afford to take a 1 year break either, but it sure feels good to read about people doing it. If I hadn't come across articles like these, I probably wouldn't have even thought about something like this. The idea really resonates with me and at least now, I can plan to do something like this few years down the line.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/i-took-a-big-pay...

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/why-i-quit-my-jo...

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