Comment by Broken_Hippo | Hacker News Reader

Comment by Broken_Hippo | Hacker News Reader

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Is the scammer in the US our outside of it? If he is in the US, can you press charges?

If he is outside of the US, can she articulate the wedding plans in more detail? Has she looked into immigration law and things like that? Does she have a passport? Have they met? If not, how does she intend on meeting him? Which country are they going to get married in - and will the marriage be legal both places? I mean, I met my spouse over the internet (non-scammy) and the details really are somewhat of a pain, but was worth it for us... and we met a few times before marriage.

The gist being more that thinking realistically might help snap her out of it some.

If she comes around, are there laws that help victims of scammers that would allow for things like debt relief?

Lot of questions.

Not sure where he is located. She says that she met him for dinner twice in one week. At that point, I think she had given him $90k, so even if he was not local, the incentive to fly out for a week would be pretty high. As for plans, they are characteristically nebulous and not well thought-out.

I don't think 'thinking realistically' is going to help. When his VoIP number gets shut down, he messages her and says he got a new number "because his old phone got smashed". When I point out that you don't get a new number when your phone breaks, she shrugs. I showed her an outline of the scam and it matched her situation exactly. I showed her news articles (like this one), I pointed out obvious lies. I wish I could reason my way out of this, but I don't think that's the case.

EDIT: as for laws that help people out -> Not that I know of. You can consolidate accrued debt, but that's it.

Some of the questions are truly more from someone with experience doing the non-scammy version of 'online dating then marrying' thing. Was more thinking perhaps these sorts of questions might at least get her mind going in the right direction or make things over more quickly. I wound up switching countries, though, so the questions reflect that.

The whole situation really sucks, and I hope she finds her way out. Must be really difficult watching the whole thing.

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