Ask HN: Any way to measure how much I speak?
I speak so little every day; I want to improve my communication skills, so I wonder any way I can measure how much I speak every day?
I know you are asking for technological tool for this, but looks like the problem you are trying to solve is created by technology , so maybe the solution is non tech and getting away from the technology.
Creating safe situations where she was forced to speak is the #1 technique to treat that condition. The speech therapists used situations like going out to buy ice cream to get her to speak.
So, yea, think of situations that are comfortable but will force you to speak. It's a very effective technique.
Volunteer to host/speak at a meetup?
This could be nerve wreaking for someone who is just getting started. Improv maybe? I dunno.
The meetup crowd, usually, is really cool and understanding.
I was actually thinking of other volunteering events. Soup kitchens, building houses with habitat for humanity, anything really that's a group activity.
Team sports as well.
Could you talk more about this? I have little to no anxiety about public speaking, but hosting a meetup sounds like a lot of work and stress to me. Are you talking about putting a new meetup group together from scratch, or asking a preexisting meetup group if you can MC for them one night, or some third thing?
Hosting a meetup is indeed a bit of extra work (I have just read the coordination notes our HR sent out, and oh boy...).
Offering to do a talk at an established, not too large meetup should be easy. Only the biggest and best known ones can pick and choose their speakers. Everybody else has to hunt, sometimes even beg for talks. As a result, these "lesser" meetups tend to be more casual. Nobody expects a professional, conference scene level of presentation.
So as long as you find a meetup that suits your taste, offering to do a talk every now and then should be more than welcome.
I was reading a piece on psychological mutism and the writer stated that the worst possible thing to do was attempt to force the child in to situations where they had to speak. There reasoning was that this lead to stress which increased the chances they wouldn't speak.
Sorry I can't cite the piece as I've lost the reference.
You're perhaps leaning that way? It hinges around what you mean by "force".
Will slow down your mental processor to communication speed, by teaching you to listen to yourself.
I used to do this with books. Very different, rewarding experience.
Oftentimes people speak for the sake of being heard but don't add anything meaningful to the conversation. Then you get the quiet ones who speak very little but when they do, it is meaningful and everyone hears what they say.
I think a lot of us could benefit from learning how to do a little more listening and a little less speaking ;)
To give a more constructive (although nontechnical) answer, make friends with someone like me. (in the "talks too much" sense) Find someone who likes engagement, conversation, etc (hopefully in a domain of shared interest) and associate with them a lot. I've found a decent track record at getting quiet teammates to become more outspoken by engaging them on that level in a friendly environment on a regular basis, because then talking more becomes the norm.
There's even (at least from my perspective) mutual benefit as the same reduction-to-the-mean helps the more talkative party get better at listening/engaging quiet people too.
A lot of people that don't talk much simply don't want to and they may not give any body language to indicate otherwise and more chatty people could be a nuisance as a result.
But now I live and work in New Zealand and smalltalks here is a must. And that is really difficult for me.
My advice: just talk. People like to talk random meaningless things. Talk to your colleagues about the weather, about plans for weekends, about their current tasks, ask if they are ok, ask about their car/bike/cat/dog, invite for a coffee etc.
And don't be afraid to repeat yourself. Literally, they ask the same things everyday.
In your culture you tend to think that all strangers are good by default, they are harmless, they are kind and interesting, hence you are trying to be polite with them. But if you know each other closer and you find out that the other guy is not a good guy, then you stop being polite.
So, basically we are coming from the opposite directions :)
Upon saying that, I enjoy smalltalk. Every morning when I come into work, I'll usually talk some bullshit about the weather, or earthquakes, or something topical.
So I guess the reason we do it is because we enjoy it?
Then, see if you can engage people at a bar, first the bartender and then a random barmate. This is the test for whether you have storytelling, presentation, emoting, expression, vocabulary, register, eye contact, body language, and the other elements of communication in sync.
After you've successfully tried it on yourself package it as a simple prototype app. Add some gamification and put it on Kickstarter.
UberConference shows you the minutes each person spoke in a meeting. May be setup a dummy meeting with yourself, or with a friend who you normally connect well with, and measure the time spoken and consciously try to improve it? It removes the social anxiety part.
Another option is to use an app like Ummo, which measures how many words you speak. May be take a topic, and speak away?
1 - uberconference.com 2 - ummoapp.com
Or just decide to go out every day and approach new people. And then just measure the amount of interactions.
Or just decide to have some "social" time every day, and measure consistency, make sure not to skip it.