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IRC clients already exist that can do most of these things, like https://thelounge.github.io

/Shameless plug

The Lounge is nice (I use it for IRC), but it has no persistent history, no search, or any of the other features a company would need.

IRC works for a devops shop, but it's unsuitable otherwise.

It looks like I have to run and administer my own server, and I don't see any support for uploading media or searching previous conversations.

The demo is pretty, though.

Uploading media is best done by using something like ShareX pointed at an internal server though so that you don't send important information outside the company.

The number of times I see people write root passwords or financial info in Slack is scary.

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