> Now the argument is always "well if you and your team were just better coders and more disciplined that wouldn't happen" but in the real world it is shown to be incredibly difficult to actually have a team that is that disciplined and microservices give a real hard barrier to enforce that discipline.

I agree that you need enforcement. But by having a multi-module project in a good build system you can enforce decoupling at build time, without the overhead of a network bourdary.