Having lost my child six years ago, I am stricken by the similarities in the ways of grieving, the feelings expressed, the unbearable absence, the disappearing friends... If the past matches, maybe the future will too, and you can hope for the return of laughing, even day-long happiness and peace of mind. One year ago, that wouldn't have been possible.

Many things will still bring you down, a tactless word by an unknowing personn, a movie where suffering is used as a plot twist to make it more real by some damned scenarist who doesn't know what he/she is speaking about, the rage when friends/familly keep forgeting your suffering...

What helped me and may help you: - knowing there can be light at the end of tunnel. Grieving can be kept in check, even if you cannot right now.

- sleeping is vital, everything is uglier when exhausted.

- not expecting non-grieving people to sympathize with you for a long time, even for short period, even in your family. There're very rare exceptions, but try to avoid fighting for sustained awareness, that's a lost bitter battle. Aim for "one shot compassion".

- linking with people who are grieving for the same reasons as you, through forums, non profit, etc. They will understand you and for once you won't need to retreint yourself. Having a free speech place is instrumental !

I am sorry for your loss. I truly am