The bit about their water-repelling shoes and the philosophizing about the nature of the sport, those things have me on the fence.
Climbers, boulderers, mountain bikers, etc. all talk like this.
But no one gets an alpine start to run across water.
Of course not. And no one gets an alpine start to climb on 15-foot rocks in the high Sierra.
Oh wait ... except, they do!
People get up early to boulder because they like to climb while the weather is nice. Humidity and temperature affect friction on the rock. I can't imagine weather has that great of an effect in this situation.
I think they included the alpine start as a further joke at the ridiculousness of it all.