The fact is for something like Facebook to function smoothly, it has to be centralized. There has to be a server somewhere out there that can be queried reliably for this data and that's the bottom line, even if you have something API-based like OpenSocial. It's just a matter of who you're going to trust with that data -- and as we see over and over again, money and power clouds judgment; a good candidate to control this network when it's starting out may not hold up so well under the barrages of billions in revenue and investors down the neck.
The only way for users to have real control over their data is to build some P2P/self-hosting architecture, and for reasons all HN readers understand, this would be a huge, huge mess.