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Comment by phatbyte | Hacker News Reader

I don't agree with the "5. Quit pretending to be an extrovert."

Sure, in the first stages you will feel uncomfortable, your heart rate will spike. But I think it's good to practice being more extrovert. I don't mean to change who you are, but leave your comfort zone more, learn new social skills. It's important.

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I kinda hate this perspective that introverts have no social skills. Its lazy. So, im an introvert. I've never held it as a shield, its just one of those thing I apparently am. I went out with a girl recently. She was delightful, I was (I think) delightful, the entire thing was fine but after a couple hours I was like "so now I gotta go stare at the sky and not be around people". (I didnt say this of course). Like, I was just done, it wasnt shyness I just felt a strong urge to be alone.

Which is fine, but for the uninitiated they can translate this into disinterest. Make sure she's not confused. In some sense you're better off actually saying something along the lines of what you're thinking; quite literally "it's not you, it's me - I need to go recharge my batteries". It's also useful to figure out a way to be alone together. Instead of 2 hours expecting a conversation the whole time; structure it as maybe 4 hours with intermittent conversation, mostly doing your own thing, but in a shared space.

You're not wrong but I have 30 years of experience ducking out of situations, there was a natural break and it worked out fine

Is it good practice for extroverts to be more introvert? Leave the comfort zone of being around people, and spend more time alone, because it's important to be comfortable being alone?

Yes.

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