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Comment by milesf | Hacker News Reader

I don't buy it. I know people with clean language that I don't trust, and friends who swear that I do. But in general I see profanity and anger as a red flag in relationships to be heeded, because it shows a general lack of respect towards others.

Next thing you know, evil will be good and good will be evil. Oh, wait a sec...

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Anecdotally, you have some supporting evidence but ultimately don't trust it. That seems silly.

You also conflate anger and profanity. Which is clearly a load of shit. They are distinct things.

I doubt it is cut and dried, but I'm interested in the research. And I distrust it as much because it confirms my general beliefs. And that should be a red flag for everyone.

> a load of shit

Your comment is anecdotal proof that profanity doesn't have jack shit to do with anger.

I realized later that I left out a smiley, or better evidence of humor. Hopefully it was taken as intended by everyone!

It's all good :) I'm simply stating my opinion, and I'll hold to it. Profanity and anger are not two "qualities" I look for in people, either as co-workers or friends. I'm not saying I will not work with or be friends with people who swear, but it is simply a red flag for me.

Nothing wrong with red flags. Just remember to question your own flags periodically. And try not to let any one dominate decisions. My guess would be that it becomes easier to deceive people that have stuck to a given rubric for a long time.

I think of it as periodic regularization. Though, easier said than done.

Of course, which is why they're called flags, not judgements or decisions. I do have friends who swear all the time. They know I don't, but that's my choice not theirs. When I catch those friends censoring themselves around me, I remind them that I "want them to just be themselves around me".

fucking used as an adverb is an intensifier which quite plainly does often express anger. If I say to my colleague, "Have you finished that task yet?", or I say, "Have you fucking finished that task yet?", which is angrier?

Tone conveys more than the words, there. Consider, you can say that with amusement or exasperation as easily as anger.

This is somewhat self fulfilling and prone to confirmation bias, though. For me, it is just as often for shock/surprise. Probably more so just plain frustration.

What does intrigue me is when people have substitution words they often use. Unless you believe in magic, I don't understand the logic.

Yeah, those are called 'minced oaths' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minced_oath

Consider reading "On Bullshit" by Princeton's Harry Frankfurt. A distinguished moral philosopher, he regards bullshit itself as evidence of disrespect, not calling it out as such.

https://www.stoa.org.uk/topics/bullshit/pdf/on-bullshit.pdf

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