I did downvote you, because you wrapped your meaningful contribution ("don't forget Fahrenheit 451") in insults.
HN commenters are turning this place into another safe space. Contrary views are not tolerated.
Comment and submission data is available via the HN APIs. Put together an analysis and share your methodology and results. Regardless of your findings, I know I'd be interested in seeing them. I'm sure a lot of other HN members would be, too.
As one might imagine, a subthread without even a story parent is basically inaccessible unless you know its precise ID.
It might help if you folks kept a public moderation log.
SELECT count(*) FROM [bigquery-public-data:hacker_news.comments]
WHERE parent IS NULL;
Story and comment IDs are also simply incrementing integers. We're not making it easy on ourselves to hide this sort of thing!