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I totally agree with stepping back, analyzing for a period, and figuring out the best approach; I just think if a managers first inclination is to derive pleasure from harshly criticizing someone there is something really wrong with the environment/leadership/their personality.

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Cool. I think we're generally in agreement then. For many (most?), leadership is an unnatural act you have to learn, so it takes time not to shoot from the hip on this stuff. And for anyone, no matter how golden their heart, it's easy to get caught up in a moment if you don't do the step back you suggest.

The larger point is to encourage the step back and a broader discussion, and to share some of the data showing that people actually don't want piles of feedback on every little thing every day.

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