At first I thought it was gonna be something like "Ah'm sorry, sir, but 'round these parts a circle is exactly 3 times as long 'round as it is 'crost. 10 cubits wide, and 30 cubits 'round, that's wut the Good Lord said, an' if you try an' teach our kids otherwise, that's grounds for revokin' yer teachin' certificate for denyin' the Word of God."
It actually turned out to be horrifyingly worse...