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Comment by jfager | Hacker News Reader

How many times have you actually interacted with the police? Between being pulled over several times, living in an apartment that was previously occupied by a guy with warrants, being assaulted with a golf club, and various other stupid minor run-ins, I've had exactly one experience where the cop wasn't a complete dick and possibly would have let me get halfway through that wall of text you want to preface your lack of interaction with.

It's just naive to expect that you can, as a rule, calmly explain why you don't want to talk with them.

Saying "I have nothing to say" works. Saying "May I go now?" works. Trying to justify yourself, using phrases like "I can't" or "I don't want to", implying that you might have something to say if a lawyer were around, anything more than conveying you have nothing to say and want permission to leave, is just asking for a headache.

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First my Aunt is a CHP officer (CHP is California Highway Patrol for those who don't know)

Second I worked in a computer store where police would come in all the time and hang out for hours. I've taken hundreds of smoke breaks with them (I don't smoke but I'd stand out there with them and talk).

Third I work at a boys home for troubled children. The cops come by about twice a week for various infractions (usually involving drugs) and since I know many from my previous job I talk to them all the time even now.

Having all that experience the one thing I know,for a fact, is that Cops are people too and they hate when other people treat them badly (which is what repeating "no comment" or asking "can I go now" is considered). If your job was to get information from someone else wouldn't you be upset if they just said "no comment" and wouldn't tell you why they were saying it or even if they had the information you were looking for? The cops feel the same way and explaining exactly why you can't talk to them and giving them your word that you don't have the info they're looking for will help your relationship with them.

Those sound like social or job-related interactions, which are completely and obviously different from the kind of interactions the article and I are referring to. Have you had any on-topic interactions with police?

If your job was to get information from someone else wouldn't you be upset if they just said "no comment" and wouldn't tell you why they were saying it or even if they had the information you were looking for?

I might be miffed, but if I had the unique ability to ruin their lives with arrest and prosecution, I'd understand a little mistrust and defensiveness.

A cop might act like refusing to say anything, refusing searches, and asking if you can go is "treating them badly", but that's gamesmanship. That's their job. If you want to appeal to their human side, just be polite about it.

The fact is, cops already know all the legitimate reasons you have for not talking to them, so there's no real misunderstanding to resolve.

I once thought my car was stolen, because I had been completely out of it with fever, and we both forgot my boyfriend was the last one to park it... and he parked it far away.

The police came. We found my car. They smiled but didn't make fun of me.

Then they invited us to a LAN party.

Maryland police are pretty nice, as long as you're white.

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