Funny enough, I'm a recruiter by trade. We walk an impossible line with candidates, particularly when demand is so high (candidates care a lot less when the economy is down, and I used to get job seekers acting like my best friend in the early 2000s).

If it's "too generic" the recruiter is dismissed as being lazy and spamming - "too personal" and the recruiter is fake.

I do understand what you mean and have seen recruiters that try to get a bit too chummy. By relating to someone, I might mention if we went to the same college or if I know people from their company or group they belong to. I'm not going to ask about their kids or spouse unless it's someone I know well.