If you want horror stories, ask lots of intelligent women from western Pennsylvania why they are now sitting in Silicon Valley.
There is a big difference between a couple of socially inept brogrammers making shitty comments and every single relative asking you why you're planning to go to college instead of getting pregnant like your sister.
"Awful" is going into court 3 times because the court couldn't get your house title right because you are married but didn't take your husband's last name.
"Awful" is being told you don't need a scholarship because you're just going to get pregnant anyway.
"Awful" is being a female in Japan who felt that suicide was her only option because if she got fired she was never going to get another job.
Does Silicon Valley need work on fairness? Yeah, on a lot of fronts. However, almost all of them are malfunctions of "power". Trump wasn't grabbing pussies because he's in Silicon Valley.
It's not specific to sexism, and it's not specific to Silicon Valley. It's about the fact that the powerful feel they can abuse their position.
If you want a more geeky description and I'm being charitable, consider it an Amdahl's Law problem. You're optimizing a tiny case while leaving the big case go.
If I'm being uncharitable, it's a case of "Why do animal protesters throw paint on old ladies and not Hell's Angels?"
People are happy to attack sexism in Silicon Valley because it's pain-free. Attacking sexism around our current Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief is likely to provoke a response that people are not prepared to face.
Unfortunately that's the important battle.
I was born in western PA. Yes, this was a thing there when I was growing up. In both cases, people are probably just being subject to their culture. They may not even think they are being aggressive or doing harm. They may even be virtue signalling from their point of view.