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Comment by sillysaurus3 | Hacker News Reader

Why tell anyone how they should be living? Or look down on them for it? Or advise people that they should keep their head down and not chase their dreams (as in https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13900883)?

What exactly were you going to do with your youth that was so much more interesting that you'd do that instead of creating your own business while having the full force of YC alums pushing you on?

If you want to do something else, great. It's perfectly ok to spend your youth however you want. There's nothing wrong with choosing a safe path.

But if people want to chase their dreams in irrational ways, then cheer for them!

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I didn't say to not chase ones dreams. I said don't be a fool about it. There's no need to live like this to pursue a startup and I'll call out anyone I see romanticizing it as wrong 7 days a week.

> But if people want to chase their dreams in irrational ways, then cheer for them!

Everybody loves rooting for the crazy underdog but that doesn't mean we want people we care about to be in their situation. In a sibling comment someone referenced being an actor/waiter in Hollywood. I think it's a great non-tech example of reality vs romanticized "follow your dream" stories.

I'd rather be a fool than a cynic.

Not being a romantic is not remotely the same as being a cynic dude. Its actually obnoxious of you to suggest that they are the same thing. Most functioning people are not particularly romantic in my experience. Similarly, most (and I would include myself here) are not cynics.

Whatsmore, being a cynic is something that is often appropriate, particularly when dealing with wild romantics.

> Its actually obnoxious of you

Please abide by the rules here and don't be uncivil.

People are free to make an informed decision in either way, if you think im suggesting coercion youre misreading me.

But the key word is informed. Suggesting that it is normal or even broadly considered acceptable to live in a closet is a lie.

Encourage people however you like but if you need to lie to them then I'm absolutely not ok with it.

Who cares what's normal or acceptable, short of illegal?

Why not be crazy in your youth? It's your youth! Spend it however you want. Spend it in ways that you look back and don't regret having taken a safe path.

I don't think anyone is lying about anything. Everyone is extremely quick to point out that living in a closet isn't normal.

But it's awesome. They actually had the courage to do that. And that is wonderful, and worth celebrating.

They didn't give a damn what was normal and did whatever was pragmatic. I'm glad there are places like that in the world.

You're certainly missing my point here.

I added a bit to the end of my comment. It sounds like you're worried that people are lying to others, or are somehow acting in ways that are malicious. But all that's happening here is cheering for founders.

From personal experience its very possible to believe you are obliged to sacrifice your own well being, and you are obliged to be passionate about something. This is my motivation here.

Ah. Yeah, I can see that.

If the pressures are aligned too strongly in the other direction, and someone is feeling squeezed, they should focus on themselves and act accordingly. As you say, it's easy to forget that.

Can we see eye to eye that my stance is the same thing, but from the opposite direction? It's very possible to believe you're obliged to do the safe thing, to worry about whether you're supporting yourself or living up to your parents' expectations, and to think that you should suppress your dreams to appease others.

It's the path that society pushes you into by default, which is why it's worth being keenly aware of it and triple checking that you're ok with choosing it. Because you only get to make that choice once or at most a few times, often when you don't know any better.

Sure I can see that I guess.

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