How can one get connected to this network outside of applying to YC?

I'm a noob engineer and I'm trying to learn more about startups. I live in SF and I'm looking on meetup.com and the startup events listed there mostly just seem like a lot of "founders" wasting time "networking" instead of building their products. It seems there is this network of people who want to look like they're building a startup, which is quite separate from the network mentioned in the article of people actually building a startup (or involved otherwise).

I don't know a lot of people here, and I'm not sure how to get started either. Does HN have any insight here? Or I guess if anyone here is interested, I'd love to get a quick coffee with anyone who is building a startup.