However, it seems intuitively true to me that Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are different sorts of things, whatever you want to call them, than Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars; that our moon is a different sort of thing from all of those (and more like the moons of all of those); and that Pluto is probably closer to Mercury-Mars than to the moon, or Eris, or Ceres, or anything else.
If you tell me that the appropriate label for Jupiter-Neptune is "planet" and for Mercury-Mars, Pluto, and Eris is "dwarf planet," I'll accept that; those sound like good categories. If you tell me that the appropriate label for Mercury-Neptune is "orbinaut" and the appropriate label for Pluto and Eris is "astrolith," I'll accept that too, those also sound like good categories. I have no intuitive objection to either of those categorizations, and both seem like they could be supported by evidence.
If you tell me that Mercury, Earth, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto are "oddballs" and the rest are "evenballs," that seems intuitively wrong. But I don't think anyone's proposing that!