Comment by batbomb | Hacker News Reader

Comment by batbomb | Hacker News Reader

   doomed to eat Heinz

There's worse things, like going to a nice restaurant for brunch and finding they offer some organic ketchup (occasionally even Hunts) or worse... make their own. Sir Kensingtons is okay, but not great.

Some people just want to dispute the fact that Heinz is, empirically, a great product. In my opinion, Heinz might even be a special case of this. What I mean by this is I'm not sure I've ever used Heinz somewhere where I thought "you know, Sir Kensingtons would really be better in this situation".

French's mustard is good, but not as versatile. I'd easily prefer a sandwich with Beaver over French's in most cases, but French's over any dijon for a hot dog. For mayo, Hellmans is closer to the class Heinz is in, but I'm happy with Kewpie in many cases over Hellmans, and a home-made aioli/mayo can bring something extra to certain dishes. That being said, I'd rather take Kewpie over Kraft Mayo and always over miracle whip.

Peanut butter is a little trickier. The major brands are all very good - Skippy, Jif. Off brands can be good. I don't mind old fashioned peanut butter, but it can't compare to the creaminess/texture of the big guys. It's also a pain in the ass to stir it and putting it in the fridge as a hack for that is a terrible workaround.

I totally agree, and I'm not sure I know why.

Mustard can be great in many different styles - English, French, even classic-American on the occasional hotdog. Reasonable people can disagree on what should in salsa, or how spicy it should be. Lots of different types of oil can be used in different types of mayonnaise without complaint. There's a world of different hot sauces and I wouldn't presume to call one style objectively better than another.

But ketchup - to me, anything other than Heinz is never welcome, and some of the "fancier" ketchups that are offered in some restaurants barely qualify as ketchup at all - at least, not in the modern sense of the word.

I wonder if it's because the taste profile of Heinz ketchup mostly consists of the balance between sweetness and acidity, and only incidentally conveys tomato, whereas almost all artisanal or aspirational ketchups de-emphasise the sweetness and instead concentrate on the tomato and other vegetable flavors.

If the sugar / acid balance is the essence of Heinz, as I suspect, then building a ketchup around a strong tomato flavor is like building a mustard variant around a turmeric flavor, or a vinegar flavor, and ignoring the mustard-seed that should be at the heart.

But as I said, I don't really know. I do know that any other brand or - heaven forbid - home-made version of ketchup will be a disappointment, and I can't think of any other food I could say the same for.

I'll disagree. I find Heinz to be saccharine sweet to the point of inedibility. That's a little hyperbolic, obviously, it's edible, I just strongly prefer a ketchup that doesn't have the overwhelming flavor of sugar.

I do not enjoy Heinz's product, I prefer a ketchup with a flavor closer to tomatoes -- a sharper, brighter, more earthy flavor.

That's almost the entire argument against putting ketchup on hot dogs. Hot dogs are already pretty sweet, and ketchup just makes them sweet to the point where every other flavor is masked.

I know it's probably overly judgmental, but I can't stand it when people put ketchup on a steak. You might as well eat tofu, which has the benefit of being cheaper, not killing an animal, and not insulting the person who cooked the steak. I know there are some reasonable counter-arguments to this, but I would feel personally insulted if someone put ketchup on a steak I made.

That being said, I could see a less-sweet ketchup actually being pretty good on a sausage of some kind, probably a smoked polish or italian. Don't tell anyone else from Chicago I said that though.

> French's mustard is good, but not as versatile. I'd easily prefer a sandwich with Beaver over French's in most cases, but French's over any dijon for a hot dog.

I'll disagree: French's (and similar yellow mustards) are why for the first part of my life I thought that I hated mustard. Then I had Dijon mustard, which I'll eat on anything. Nasty neon yellow mustard just doesn't taste good on anything to me.

I agree, and I can't recall where, but I think I read some article explaining why Heinz ketchup is a special case. Basically it's a really fine control of texture, moisture, acid and sweetness, and it's hard to do just right. For years I was really sold on the idea that other ketchups must be better (after all, I like Hellman's mayo, but I freshly made is really REALLY good). I tried all of the chunky, and the smooth, the salty and the smoked. I tried oyster catsup, and all of the rest. Some of them are really good, but none of them are as multipurpose (a point you get at with French's for example).

It may just be that tomato ketchup is one of those things where you can make it different, but not "better"; that there is an ideal range and Heinz occupies it. If you want a spicy condiment, or a sour one... you probably don't want tomato ketchup in the first place. While you might want a smooth or a fine grain mustard, or a spicy or a plain one, you're rarely going to want that from a ketchup.

Heinz and Whataburger (a fast food chain popular in and around Texas) ketchup have always been my favorite. There was another brand I eventually came across which was very close - I believe it was Cucina Antica. I'm curious if others would agree.

What's wrong with Hunts?

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