If you're not working on something that is currently hot in Silicon Valley, there is little reason to be here. It's not like Portland, where you decide that you want to live there first and then decide what you'll do for a living. But if you do want to work in one of those hot sectors, there really is no place to do so other than Silicon Valley; nowhere else do you get the same combination of talent, capital, experience, open-mindedness, and risk-taking.
It doesn't surprise me that people are moving out (even beyond personal experience, where basically all of my friends have remarked that they're considering moving to Colorado, or Seattle, or Portland, or North Carolina, and my wife & I are considering it too). We're at the end of a technology cycle, so nobody really knows what the next one will be or if it's something that'll interest them. But there are a lot of fascinating things going on with drones, robotics, self-driving cars, AI, satellites, and hardware, so if any of them seem interesting, Silicon Valley might be a good place to check out.
There are Code for America chapters in Raleigh and Durham so there is that. I enjoyed the cities and NC is definitely a contender for escaping the insane rental prices of the Bay Area.
I've considered the RTP area and idly talked it over with my wife. The big plus is that we could buy a gigantic house on 5 acres of land free-and-clear, with no mortgage. My brother-in-law's family also lives there, and my mom is up in New England, so family reunions would become simpler. The big minus is that I think the work culture in NC is a bit more conservative than I've gotten used to in the Bay Area; I doubt that they'd appreciate me rolling into work at 2 PM, or trying out new programming languages, or openly challenging my VP on product strategy. Plus, my wife works in philanthropy and there are fewer rich people with money to manage there. So it'd really only be an option once we cash out & retire.
(/s)
I grew up in the Boston suburbs and my parents owned an acre of land. My mom just sold it for a quarter of what my in-laws house (1/4 acre) in Cupertino is worth.
They both have advantages and disadvantages. As for myself, I tried living in SF for a few years and was convinced that the appeal of city life just did not resonate with me; however many good friends could not do without the amenities and convenience that the city offers. We all just pick what is best for us given who we are and what we value for ourselves.