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Comment by 65543543 | Hacker News Reader

My heart goes out to the whole family.

A while ago, a long long friend of mine suddenly messaged me out of the blue reminiscing on old times and stuff. I could sense something was amiss. I planned an impromptu trip to see him. I didn't bring anything up...we just chatted about the good old times, cracked a few inside jokes etc. He was visibly much better when I started back after a few days. We promised to be in touch but it kinda dwindled from there.

He got back in touch again and this time told me that he was seriously contemplating the last ride and my trip made him change his mind.

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Kudos. I wish I had done the same. Years ago an old friend got in touch and we started taking about going to see the Corvette museum together. For various reasons I couldn't do the trip any time soon. Not long after he killed himself. I don't know if going on that trip would've changed anything, but I'm forever left with the doubt. I can't say I will never again, but I don't want to ever let down friends or family again.

Funny, I had a colleague who we all thought had cancer (terminal), fundraising had begun for treatmenet etc. Anyway another friend and I went over to see him one evening to play computer games and just hang out, as he seemed pretty down. During that time we were chatting about his cancer etc. and the subject of suicide came up. I (apparently) said that "I thought it was the cowards way out" (I do not feel that way any more I may say)

Anyway, apparently this stuck in his mind as he had been planning on committing suicide that evening. He never told me this, but it was relayed. Turned out the cancer was entirely made up as he wanted to have a legitimate excuse for committing suicide!

He's well now thankfully.

It's funny the tiny chancy things you can do that can have huge consequences.

My heart goes out to this family, and if you do have friends / colleagues that are down or talking darkly. Do reach out to them (however uncomfortable you may find the process), you might really make a difference.

Please encourage your friend to see a psychiatrist. It may save their life.

Not that you're necessarily wrong, but you're not necessarily right, either. I've been in not too different a place, and I can say with some confidence that all the psychiatrists in the world don't add up to one good friend who cares.

Look after those relationships, folks. Lose them and they're gone forever.

The parent comment noted they fell out of touch with their friend.

As for your confident advice, that's only true for you. The Uber engineer who took his life had a loving family.

Everyone having suicidal thoughts should be screened by a psychiatrist. Sometimes it takes medication and medication saves lives.

Medication is a problem unless you are sick. We all need confirmation and less pressure...are we sick because of that?

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