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Man, I understand the desire to make every map a rectangle, but filling that in with endless ocean is just so wrong

Yeah, you really need to see where the cuts are for it to make sense. Here is a better version (without fictitious ocean): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fuller_projection_rotated...

Every single map is inaccurate in a way, I suggest you read How to lie with maps by Mark Monmonier.

Every single map that's not a globe, anyway... And even those are technically lies, since the Earth is not perfectly spherical.

And more generally, "the map is not the territory".