I'm currently in a similar situation about what to do with an elderly relative with dementia who is currently in limbo after the last relative taking care of him died. The best moral option is to take guardianship and look after him. The best financial decision is to "divorce" from the situation and let the state take care of him so I have a chance of my wife and I being able to retire and saving for the kid's education expenses.

It's a crazy system the U.S. has.