You are exactly correct. I am describing an enabler, and that is exactly what your loved ones will turn into if you tell them you are depressed.
When your SO asks you for help, you give it to them. Unfortunately that is the opposite of what a depressed person needs.
Depressed people need to make changes to their lives. You can't do that when you have someone being your crutch.
And I just want to be clear because some people in this thread seem to be misunderstanding, this is nothing to do with being female or male. I would give the same advice to to a woman as to man.